Jim’s Inventions

I’m sure many people (especially those who have known me the longest) will think most of my inventive ideas are meant purely for laughs… just like the Rube Goldberg contraption in the Myth-busters’ video

To prove that myth wrong, let me start with an idea I’ve been trying to push for decades. The idea is very simple, and one that Al Gore and his pals should find interesting. Instead of piling old tires in giant heaps that occasionally catch fire, let’s transform them into timbers that can be used for landscaping or anything else that can be built out of a sturdy beam that is resistant to termites and most forms of rot.

With the chemical knowledge available today, I would think the old tires could be ground up and re-vulcanized into any shape desired. If the owner of valuable water craft want to protect their investment, they can build a dock out of the stuff. If the boat hits it too hard, it simply bounces off!

The first idea I had as a small child resulted in peals of laughter from my loved ones. We were driving toward Ocean City, New Jersey when I spotted my first motel. After my father explained to me why it was called a motel, I asked why they didn’t have Boat-els.

Please note that many seaside resorts now have docks for their sea going guests.

All right; time to move on to my latest idea. We’ve all seen the commercials for air fresheners, but have you noticed that they are all variations of floral scents? Isn’t it time for the introduction of aroma diffusers for the bachelor pad?

The really crude bachelors are already bathing their premises in the smell of sweaty socks and decaying dirty clothes. Why not cover up those offensive odors with the sweet bouquet of chicken soup?

If a guest were to enter a room and encounter the wonderful aroma of a steak sizzling on a grill, or an apple pie fresh from the over, he or she might be willing to move a stack of junk mail to find a place to sit for a few minutes.

Who could resist the smell of turkey roasting in the oven? How about chicken wings browning to perfection in a deep fat fryer? Bacon or sausage frying in a cast iron skillet is guaranteed to make anyone feel at home.

Let’s face it, if those chemists can duplicate the smell of violets in a meadow on the Rocky Mountains, surely they can duplicate the essence of a pepperoni pizza fresh from the overn.

Depending on who the bachelor is entertaining, the choices would have to go well beyond food. A grease and gasoline mixture would be perfect for the guys from the garage. The scent of sawdust would be most welcoming to the guys from the lumberyard. And what tire mechanic could resist the beckoning of newly vulcanized rubber.

I believe old tires were the object of my serious idea. Since we’ve come full circle, I’ll quit while I’m ahead.

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One Response to Jim’s Inventions

  1. Gramps McC says:

    Enjoyed your site.

    Nice to know that there is another Jim out there with fabulous ideas.

    Jim McCullough, Sebastopol, CA

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